IS YOUR MASCULINE ENERGY IS WHY YOU ARE SINGLE?

Last week I was face timing with a friend; as always, we chatted about our singleness and shared a bit about what's going on in our lives—usually some 30-year-old dating drama. My friend asked me about feminine and masculine energy and how it affects our dating life as 2 of our girls were dealing with different situations that made them doubt their femininity.

The first one just separated from her fiancé after five years of relationship. Her fiancé gives the following reason to break up their engagement: SHE IS TOO LOUD.

The second friend was struggling with whether she should develop a more feminine look and behaviour to attract a man because she felt her tall figure (6,1) was getting in the way when meeting someone new. The men she dated seemed intimidated by her physique (which I got to say looks Fabulous). The two friends are in their early 30s, health professional black women living in the city. They are financially independent and outgoing females with social life and friend.

Before I analyze their situations, you must know that I genuinely believe in the power of feminine energy; whether it is in love or life, I always tape in my feminine energy, which always comes naturally to me. I love being feminine, feeling feminine and being treated like a woman. I have no interest in being "the man" in any relationship.

Now what exactly is a feminine energy

Feminine energy refers to a set of qualities and characteristics that are often associated with the feminine aspect of human nature. Feminine energy is often characterized by traits such as:

1. Nurturing and Compassion: Part of your feminine energy is nurturing and caring qualities. Being empathetic, compassionate, and willing to provide support and care to others.

2. Intuition: Feminine energy is intuition and a deep sense of knowing without knowing. It's about trusting your instincts and feelings when making decisions.

3. Emotional Depth: Embracing emotions and understanding their complexity is a hallmark of feminine energy. This includes being comfortable with a range of emotions and expressing and processing them.

4. Collaboration: Feminine energy often emphasizes collaboration, cooperation, and building harmonious relationships. When embodying feminine energy, prioritize teamwork and seek to create inclusive environments.

5. Creativity: Creativity is a crucial aspect of feminine energy. Feminine energy is often about thinking outside the box and finding innovative solutions.

6. Empowerment: Feminine energy holds inner strength, resilience, and the ability to empower yourself and others. This empowerment comes with self-awareness and self-acceptance.

7. Flexibility: Flexibility and adaptability are part of feminine energy. This trait allows you to navigate change and uncertainty with resilience and ease.

8. Receptivity: Feminine energy involves openness to learning and growth.

9. Sensitivity to Beauty: Appreciation for beauty in all its forms, whether in nature, art, fashion, beauty, friendship or relationships, is another aspect of feminine energy.

10. Caring for Others and Self: Balancing care for others with self-care is a significant component of feminine energy. It is about recognizing the importance of nurturing yourself while supporting those around you. PUT YOUR MASK FIRST

You possess a unique blend of this trait. Some may be stronger than others. When you learn to balance these energies and characteristics, you will experience a more holistic and powerful self-confidence and awareness. This can contribute to healthier relationships, increased emotional intelligence, and more well-rounded personal development in life and business.

How can you tape in your feminine energy?

Tapping into your feminine energy involves embracing these personality traits and using them as a force instead of trying to change, dim, or hide them and, for example, allowing yourself to feel and express your emotions authentically. Embracing vulnerability and not being afraid to share your feelings with others or look too "emotional" is a way to tap into your feminine energy. Another way is to embody empowerment by celebrating your inner strength and empowering yourself to pursue your dreams and goals. Recognize your abilities and cultivate a sense of confidence in your decisions instead of doubting them.

Is feminine energy only for soft and small women?

Contrary to popular thinking, feminine energy has nothing to do with your physical appearance; it's not about wearing dresses and high heels. So no, feminine energy is not exclusive to small, "sweet"- looking women.

Feminine energy encompasses a wide range of qualities, characteristics, and traits that go beyond physical attributes. It's essential to break away from stereotypes that some women are less in their feminine energy because of their looks. Embracing and expressing feminine power doesn't mean being "sweet" either; it means embodying qualities that resonate with you and contribute to your overall well-being and authenticity. The way you blend the different characteristics of feminine energy is TOTALLY yours. The key is to tap into the qualities that align with your true self and contribute positively to your personal growth, relationships, and overall sense of fulfilment.

It's really about how you sit with yourself, the vibe you're giving and the vibe you accept from others.

Look for a partner that can handle and match your feminine energy.

Now to go back to our friends, wondering if they are not feminine enough or too masculine to attract or keep a happy relationship in the long run, I told them.

First of all, it is possible that you don't tape enough and fully in your blend of feminine energy. If this is the case, you don't sit well with yourself; you feel you need to change some personality trait to please others, whether it's co-workers, friends, family or society. If this is the issue, then yes, you need to tape more in the feminine energy, but that is not to attract a man but to build a relationship with yourself FIRST.

In the cases where they feel like they are authentic to their feminine energy blends, the real issue will then be that they are with a partner that can handle their energy or dates men that are at their levels:

For example: If at the dating stage, a man thinks you are terrific and he's been chasing you, then once in a committed relationship, he tells you that you are too much, too loud and take too much space. That man is not masculine ENOUGH for your energy. He can not handle you but wanted a part of your spark when he met you. Once he realized that doesn't work: sparks are not something you get from standing close to someone.

Too many men/people will want to get close or ask for a spot in your life FOR A PIECE OF YOUR MAGIC. Until they realize they ARE still without any magic, and now not only do you have our own people seeing your charm but also their entourage, family and friend; he will feel like you are stealing from them while you just being yourself, and they are the ones initially wanted to suck something out of you. But, thanks, go; no one can take it away. Once they get that, they don't see any more use in having you around, and they start to dismiss you, put you down and make you feel guilty for any joy in your life.

"You are too loud."

"Why are you always have to talk to everyone."

"Can you just stay quiet for once"

"Why are you smiling."

"Why you can't act like a normal person."

So to my two ladies and all the ladies reading this, you must recognize that type of glow vampire; often, it's not about you not being in your femininity; it's about their insecurities. When a man tells you that being you is not feminine, that your fire is too masculine, please, before you start doubting yourself ask yourself if this person is at your level. If the answer is NO, don't even bother with their comment. A truly masculine man that can match your energy will push you to be more confident and assertive the way you are and won't try to dim your light so he can be visible, too. He will step up his game to meet you where you are or will already be there.

Remember that being a feminine woman means tapping into your feminine blend of energy; that mix of traits is yours to define.